Tag: family counseling

How Managing Your Emotions Can Benefit Your Relationship

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As you get older, you will experience an increase in responsibilities that will begin weighing more heavily on your shoulders. While these changes are an exciting transition into new stages of life, they can occasionally feel burdensome as feelings of overwhelming happiness, fear, heartache, and loneliness weave together and blur the lines between each individual emotion. This makes it difficult to separate these feelings in an attempt to conquer them independently.

When difficult emotions arise, it not only affects the person, it affects their relationships as well. If not addressed, these emotions can cause serious implications between a person and their family and friends – and, more specifically, with their significant others.

When you find yourself under the weight of pressure, it is imperative that you learn how to properly cope with your different emotions:

Allow yourself to fully feel the emotion.

You may think you are already doing this since you currently feel angry or depressed, but you most likely try to escape from your current state as quickly as possible – no one prefers to feel those negative emotions. However, it’s important that you allow yourself to truly feel through the emotion instead of pushing it away.

Separate yourself from your emotions.

Your emotions do not define you, they are just a part of life that requires your attention every now and then. If you identify yourself with your emotions, it is much harder to separate yourself from them when they are in full force. Be aware of their presence, but detach yourself from them as quickly and as often as possible.

Try to identify the triggers of your emotions.

Don’t try to do this in the heat of the moment because it will be difficult to try to deal with your current state of mind while also analyzing the reason for why you feel this way. Once the emotion has subsided, take the time to think back to what triggered the feeling. Why did it cause this reaction? Is it something that can be avoided in the future if you can just adjust your mentality? These questions may not be fun to work through, but this change in perspective will help to reduce how intense these emotions will feel in the future, making them easier to process.

If you can be more in tune with yourself, approaching every situation with mindfulness and the necessary attention, it will show itself in your relationship with your significant other. Instead of going from bad to worse, you will have more control in how the situation will play out because you will be better equipped to work through these difficult emotions before approaching your partner.

If you both approach life this way, it is going to positively show itself within your relationship!

Debunking Common Parenting Myths

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There are literally hundreds – if not thousands – of myths parenting that range from children throwing temper tantrums is a result of bad parenting to the number of parenting behaviors alleged to “scar your children for life.” Some of these myths come from people with no children, some of them come from other parents but the one thing they all have in common is that they are not helpful and generally only serve to deplete a parent’s confidence in their ability to raise a relatively stable and healthy child.

Here are four of the most destructive myths that need to be debunked.

A child’s needs should come first

When you are on an airline, they tell you “put your own oxygen mask on first, before you try and help your child.” What’s true on a plane is true in life. When you are tired, stressed out and exhausted, you cannot give your best to your children. Over the long haul, constantly putting your own needs on the back burner can lead to a number of issues ranging from depression to major ailments.

Only bad parents “lose it” with their kids

Learning how to “push buttons” is a skill every child will master and eventually use mercilessly. “Losing it” with your child is not only a natural part of parenting, it’s a healthy one. Because right along with learning how to push people’s buttons is learning why you want to refrain from doing so.

It’s not okay to lash out and hit your child or be verbally abusive, but losing your cool within certain limits is perfectly normal, natural and healthy. It’s important to teach your children that actions have consequences, so if their actions have the result of sending you over the edge, that’s an important learning lesson. Another valuable part of the learning experience is watching mommy or daddy apologize or how they handle messing up. This can go a long way towards helping them build valuable social skills.

Children learn best from over-explaining things to them

Reality check: children learn from what you do not what you say. Over explaining to them won’t do you any more good than me trying to overexploit this to you.

Parenting comes naturally to those who love their children and have good intentions

False. Parenting – like having a good marriage or being a good employee or coworker – requires a wide variety of skills and disciplines that must be learned over time. No one is just naturally a good parent, but no one who is a good parent got that way by accident either. The good news is anyone can be a good parent, the bad news is no one is going to be a good parent that isn’t willing to work at it.